Isn't it funny how Boehner "acknowledges his addiction," but Obama only "sneaks a smoke" from time to time.
WHATEVER.......
Monday, December 13, 2010
Update Quickie
Still not smoking. I have no idea how long its been now, and I'm too lazy to go and do the math.
Robby hasn't smoked, either. He's off Chantix now, too.
Still not really seeing the financial rewards. Still a mystery why that is so.
Robby went to the Doctor last week, and get this, his blood pressure was up, sky high, so she finally decided to put him on medication. Can you believe it? The guy quits smoking, and his blood pressure gets worse instead of better.
I have managed to not gain an alarming amount of weight, despite being willy-nilly about my "diet plan."
Seems we just can't win for losing.
There are two things that still make it all worth it. And I mean that. I've been very clear that I did not quit smoking because I wanted to, I did it out of necessity. Robby and I were years past the time that we could afford to throw away money to slowly kill ourselves. So, if I'm not seeing the financial gains of quitting, what then could possibly make quitting something I didn't want to quit worth it?
I'll tell you. Two things. 1.) I no longer have to make daily trips to the gas station. This might sound trivial to some, but its a very big deal to me. I have always despised the fact that my addiction had power over me on a daily basis. I make the call to stop at the 7-Eleven now, not some chemical in my blood stream.
2.) And this is really number one, but I just saved the best for last. My kids are thrilled that Mommy and Daddy have quit smoking. What more do I need?
Robby hasn't smoked, either. He's off Chantix now, too.
Still not really seeing the financial rewards. Still a mystery why that is so.
Robby went to the Doctor last week, and get this, his blood pressure was up, sky high, so she finally decided to put him on medication. Can you believe it? The guy quits smoking, and his blood pressure gets worse instead of better.
I have managed to not gain an alarming amount of weight, despite being willy-nilly about my "diet plan."
Seems we just can't win for losing.
There are two things that still make it all worth it. And I mean that. I've been very clear that I did not quit smoking because I wanted to, I did it out of necessity. Robby and I were years past the time that we could afford to throw away money to slowly kill ourselves. So, if I'm not seeing the financial gains of quitting, what then could possibly make quitting something I didn't want to quit worth it?
I'll tell you. Two things. 1.) I no longer have to make daily trips to the gas station. This might sound trivial to some, but its a very big deal to me. I have always despised the fact that my addiction had power over me on a daily basis. I make the call to stop at the 7-Eleven now, not some chemical in my blood stream.
2.) And this is really number one, but I just saved the best for last. My kids are thrilled that Mommy and Daddy have quit smoking. What more do I need?
Friday, November 19, 2010
Show Me The Money
Hmmm, Not really seeing the financial rewards of quitting yet like I would expect.
Its a little disheartening when I check my bank account expecting to be pleasantly surprised and finding it looks pretty much the same as it did a couple months ago.
How the hell can that be?
I've been quite the hermit since I quit, did I maybe miss something? 2+2 still equals 4, right? How is Robby and I not spending $24.00 a day, not adding up to saving $24.00 a day?
Robby's still taking Chantix and had to have the prescription filled, but it still doesn't add up.
Its a little disheartening when I check my bank account expecting to be pleasantly surprised and finding it looks pretty much the same as it did a couple months ago.
How the hell can that be?
I've been quite the hermit since I quit, did I maybe miss something? 2+2 still equals 4, right? How is Robby and I not spending $24.00 a day, not adding up to saving $24.00 a day?
Robby's still taking Chantix and had to have the prescription filled, but it still doesn't add up.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
You Are What You Eat
Just a quick update, cause I got a lot of studying to do today.
What week is this now? 4? I'm starting to lose track.
Last week I spent some time thinking about how I wanted to change my diet. Since my motivation for quitting smoking is largely based on economics, I think it follows too that my food choices reflect this as well.
I need to save money and forgo calories. And I suppose it won't kill me to try to eat "healthier."
Simple enough, right? Well, the tricky part is coming up with a game plan that is realistic for a family of four. It can't just be about me and what I eat. I've seen some of my girlfriends try this and it never works and I know me, I won't be satisfied with my rice cake while everybody around me is eating their Big Macs. That's just setting yourself up for failure.
Here's where I think I want to go with the diet thing. I don't have a lot of money, but I do have time lately since I don't have a job right now and my school load is light this semester. Time is a resource and I need to better use it to my advantage. Until now, we've always ate out a lot. We do this out of convenience mostly. But, sometimes because its cheaper than cooking at home. Don't believe me? Check out the prices of chicken breast at the grocery store, then compare it to the dollar menu at McDonalds.
Still with me? Ok. So, I remembered hearing about how Mediterranean cuisine is very healthy. I happen to love Middle Eastern and Mediterranean food and Robby does too, so I decided to see if I could incorporate more of it into our weekly routine. The more I'm cooking the less we're eating out. And I wanted to see if this could be done on the cheap, too. I found a good website with recipes and even monthly menu ideas. What I liked most about the site is that it reminds its visitors that eating Mediterranean style is not just about the food. Its also about the when and how. Its about serving meals in courses, slow and in small, but delicious portions. You take the time to enjoy the food. This is key. And as the cook, you don't compromise on taste for convenience. Ever. You don't rush breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Bottom line; if you cook your meals from scratch or as close to scratch as you can, they will be healthier and they'll taste better.
But will they be cheaper?
Well, that's the real challenge, I think. And, my guess is, yes. If I cook the majority of my meals from scratch, I'll save money because I can cook in bigger batches so that we have quantity and quality. But, it will be a challenge. I will need to clip coupons and hit the farmer's market more often than I'm use to. And I'll need to organize and plan the meals out (and I'm not known for my organizational skills.)
Does every meal need to be taken from a secret Italian recipe? No. I think what I'll do is just work off the basic principles of the Mediterranean diet and lifestyle. They eat lots of veggies. So I will try to add more to our diet. This is a challenge with my kids. We'll see how it goes. But the main principle I think is fresh, basic ingredients. The less the food is processed, the better. If one day a week we would rather have Irish corned beef and cabbage instead of Lebanese Shawarma or Italian linguine in pesto sauce, as long as its homemade, we're doing good.
Will this really help me to not gain weight now that I'm not smoking, and wasn't that the whole point?
Well, yes it was the whole point. I don't know. We'll see. I'll try to keep a record of it. My thoughts on this are that by eating 3 squares a day (something I've never done before) I'll limit how much I want to snack throughout the day. And keep in mind, the food might be from scratch and taste fantastic, but the slowed down pace of eating in courses, ie: salad first, main course, fruit for dessert, should help to keep the portions of the high calorie foods down. That's the theory, anyway.
All I know is, I think its important to be realistic when considering a diet plan. I could never do what I've seen some people do to lose weight. I love food too much. And again, I have to come up with something that will work for my whole family, not just me.
I thought this was supposed to be a quick post? See, there's those organizational skills I need to work on.
I'm off now to start my homemade spaghetti sauce, so it will be ready in about 6 hours and get some studying done.
Here's the recipe if anyone cares to try it.
Maybe later I'll do a cost analysis on this homemade version compared to the price of what I would have normally made with canned sauce.
What week is this now? 4? I'm starting to lose track.
Last week I spent some time thinking about how I wanted to change my diet. Since my motivation for quitting smoking is largely based on economics, I think it follows too that my food choices reflect this as well.
I need to save money and forgo calories. And I suppose it won't kill me to try to eat "healthier."
Simple enough, right? Well, the tricky part is coming up with a game plan that is realistic for a family of four. It can't just be about me and what I eat. I've seen some of my girlfriends try this and it never works and I know me, I won't be satisfied with my rice cake while everybody around me is eating their Big Macs. That's just setting yourself up for failure.
Here's where I think I want to go with the diet thing. I don't have a lot of money, but I do have time lately since I don't have a job right now and my school load is light this semester. Time is a resource and I need to better use it to my advantage. Until now, we've always ate out a lot. We do this out of convenience mostly. But, sometimes because its cheaper than cooking at home. Don't believe me? Check out the prices of chicken breast at the grocery store, then compare it to the dollar menu at McDonalds.
Still with me? Ok. So, I remembered hearing about how Mediterranean cuisine is very healthy. I happen to love Middle Eastern and Mediterranean food and Robby does too, so I decided to see if I could incorporate more of it into our weekly routine. The more I'm cooking the less we're eating out. And I wanted to see if this could be done on the cheap, too. I found a good website with recipes and even monthly menu ideas. What I liked most about the site is that it reminds its visitors that eating Mediterranean style is not just about the food. Its also about the when and how. Its about serving meals in courses, slow and in small, but delicious portions. You take the time to enjoy the food. This is key. And as the cook, you don't compromise on taste for convenience. Ever. You don't rush breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Bottom line; if you cook your meals from scratch or as close to scratch as you can, they will be healthier and they'll taste better.
But will they be cheaper?
Well, that's the real challenge, I think. And, my guess is, yes. If I cook the majority of my meals from scratch, I'll save money because I can cook in bigger batches so that we have quantity and quality. But, it will be a challenge. I will need to clip coupons and hit the farmer's market more often than I'm use to. And I'll need to organize and plan the meals out (and I'm not known for my organizational skills.)
Does every meal need to be taken from a secret Italian recipe? No. I think what I'll do is just work off the basic principles of the Mediterranean diet and lifestyle. They eat lots of veggies. So I will try to add more to our diet. This is a challenge with my kids. We'll see how it goes. But the main principle I think is fresh, basic ingredients. The less the food is processed, the better. If one day a week we would rather have Irish corned beef and cabbage instead of Lebanese Shawarma or Italian linguine in pesto sauce, as long as its homemade, we're doing good.
Will this really help me to not gain weight now that I'm not smoking, and wasn't that the whole point?
Well, yes it was the whole point. I don't know. We'll see. I'll try to keep a record of it. My thoughts on this are that by eating 3 squares a day (something I've never done before) I'll limit how much I want to snack throughout the day. And keep in mind, the food might be from scratch and taste fantastic, but the slowed down pace of eating in courses, ie: salad first, main course, fruit for dessert, should help to keep the portions of the high calorie foods down. That's the theory, anyway.
All I know is, I think its important to be realistic when considering a diet plan. I could never do what I've seen some people do to lose weight. I love food too much. And again, I have to come up with something that will work for my whole family, not just me.
I thought this was supposed to be a quick post? See, there's those organizational skills I need to work on.
I'm off now to start my homemade spaghetti sauce, so it will be ready in about 6 hours and get some studying done.
Here's the recipe if anyone cares to try it.
Maybe later I'll do a cost analysis on this homemade version compared to the price of what I would have normally made with canned sauce.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
More Incentive to Eat Less
I guess if there was ever a good time for me to start a diet plan.......
It's now.
I'll save money on cigarettes and food.
Is it time to stock up on the Special K?
It's now.
I'll save money on cigarettes and food.
Is it time to stock up on the Special K?
Taking It To The Next Level
(First, let me say that this post was originally much longer and detailed. Blogger ate it in the middle of editing the post. Don't you just love when stuff like that happens?) Ah, well, here's what did not get eaten....
Now that I've cleared the hurtle of physical addiction, its time to start thinking about "maintenance."
I believe that quitting smoking is a very personal experience. Since every smoker's habit is unique there is no one way to go about quitting that works for everyone. Through trial and error, we figure out what works best for ourselves.
For a lot of people, long-term success hinges on specific changes to routine and lifestyle. For others, it seems quitting smoking is only that - quitting smoking, nothing more. John The Smoker becomes, simply, John The Non-Smoker. He doesn't feel the need to change his evil ways and become John The Non-Smoker Church-Going Vegetarian." Now, this is perfectly fine for John, so long as certain unpleasant side effects don't pose a new challenge for him.
You know, like getting fat.
And this is right about where Blogger decided to flake out and eat the rest of my post. So, this here attempt will be my second to finish this bad boy and I'm pretty put out by it all, so I'll just cut to the chase......
I'm not like John, but I like to think I am. I like to think that I can just quit smoking and let that be it; to not have a need for comprehensive lifestyle "adjustments" such as diet and exercise. Frankly, I'm kinda lazy and it all sounds like more work than I'm willing to commit to. I feel like from here on out, my ability to resist smoking is pretty much in the bag, so why add on more restrictions and discipline needlessly?
That's what I'd like to think. The reality is, the last two times I started smoking again after quitting (once for three years) is largely because I wanted to lose the weight I had gained from quitting. It's no secret that smoking is an easy, fast way to shed pounds. And if there is one thing that will cause me to smoke again...its gaining weight. And we all know quitting smoking causes weight gain.
In order to avoid this little Catch-22, I'm going to have to make some adjustments to my diet and amount of daily exercise. I'm not happy about it.
Not one bit.
So there.
Now that I've cleared the hurtle of physical addiction, its time to start thinking about "maintenance."
I believe that quitting smoking is a very personal experience. Since every smoker's habit is unique there is no one way to go about quitting that works for everyone. Through trial and error, we figure out what works best for ourselves.
For a lot of people, long-term success hinges on specific changes to routine and lifestyle. For others, it seems quitting smoking is only that - quitting smoking, nothing more. John The Smoker becomes, simply, John The Non-Smoker. He doesn't feel the need to change his evil ways and become John The Non-Smoker Church-Going Vegetarian." Now, this is perfectly fine for John, so long as certain unpleasant side effects don't pose a new challenge for him.
You know, like getting fat.
And this is right about where Blogger decided to flake out and eat the rest of my post. So, this here attempt will be my second to finish this bad boy and I'm pretty put out by it all, so I'll just cut to the chase......
I'm not like John, but I like to think I am. I like to think that I can just quit smoking and let that be it; to not have a need for comprehensive lifestyle "adjustments" such as diet and exercise. Frankly, I'm kinda lazy and it all sounds like more work than I'm willing to commit to. I feel like from here on out, my ability to resist smoking is pretty much in the bag, so why add on more restrictions and discipline needlessly?
That's what I'd like to think. The reality is, the last two times I started smoking again after quitting (once for three years) is largely because I wanted to lose the weight I had gained from quitting. It's no secret that smoking is an easy, fast way to shed pounds. And if there is one thing that will cause me to smoke again...its gaining weight. And we all know quitting smoking causes weight gain.
In order to avoid this little Catch-22, I'm going to have to make some adjustments to my diet and amount of daily exercise. I'm not happy about it.
Not one bit.
So there.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Yawning Issue Has Subsided, Thank God
I have not officially adopted any new meditation or breathing techniques since my previous post on the yawning thing, but I did cut back on the caffeine and it seems to have helped.
Strange that out of control yawning would get better with less caffeine, but it did. I feel a whole lot less edgy too, which is something I was relating to nicotine withdrawal rather than a new sensitivity to my other beloved addiction, coffee.
Strange that out of control yawning would get better with less caffeine, but it did. I feel a whole lot less edgy too, which is something I was relating to nicotine withdrawal rather than a new sensitivity to my other beloved addiction, coffee.
Note To Self: Still To Soon For Alcohol
I was feeling pretty cocky this weekend because I had managed to make it through my first two weeks of not smoking. After all, stopping something you've done most of your adult life upwards of 20 times a day, gives me reason to feel a little Billy Badass. Its no small thing to accomplish. I've just made it through my own little personal hell on earth and survived. I've always said, if you can quit smoking, you can do just about anything, so its a very powerful feeling having the worst part of the battle behind me.
So feeling all Super Woman like, I thought I could handle some wine, too. I was wrong. It didn't take long for the old familiar pestering to come back. The nagging want. Alcohol is, in my opinion, the #1 worst smoking trigger. First, it makes you want a cigarette, then it dulls your conscience about it all. It hits a vulnerable quitter with a one, two punch.
I did not relapse, I didn't smoke, but I can say this is only because I did not have the opportunity to. Had a pack of cigarettes been sitting in front of me, there is no doubt I would have smoked one.
I'm strong, but I ain't that strong. Nobody is. It was stupid to put myself in that position. And for what really? I should be more careful.
At least now I know. And you know what they say about knowing.
So feeling all Super Woman like, I thought I could handle some wine, too. I was wrong. It didn't take long for the old familiar pestering to come back. The nagging want. Alcohol is, in my opinion, the #1 worst smoking trigger. First, it makes you want a cigarette, then it dulls your conscience about it all. It hits a vulnerable quitter with a one, two punch.
I did not relapse, I didn't smoke, but I can say this is only because I did not have the opportunity to. Had a pack of cigarettes been sitting in front of me, there is no doubt I would have smoked one.
I'm strong, but I ain't that strong. Nobody is. It was stupid to put myself in that position. And for what really? I should be more careful.
At least now I know. And you know what they say about knowing.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Yawn, Yawn, Go Away, Come Again Some Other Day
It didn't take long this morning to realize the weird excessive yawning problem has not gone away. Its become incredibly irritating.
I have noticed a mild shortness of breath ever since I started trying to quit. I have read that this is a common symptom of nicotine withdrawal and it should subside eventually. When I noticed I was yawning more than usual yesterday and that I was having a hard time controlling the urge to yawn, I associated it with the shortness of breath. I figured it probably has something to do with coming up on the last few days of "physical withdrawal." As the day progressed, I became more and more irritated with the yawning and the soreness it was causing in my jaw. I felt like I had to fight the urge to yawn just as much as I had to fight the urge to smoke in the first couple days of quitting. That's how bad it was, I had to fight yawning yesterday like I was addicted to it for my entire adult life or something. Even when I gave in and let myself yawn, I could never quite get a full yawn in. It was as if the yawn was cut short, robbing me of any satisfaction. Imagine trying to yawn or even sneeze over and over again and each time being cut short! It was oddly a lot like trying to smoke a cigarette while taking Chantix. Despite my best efforts I just couldn't scratch the itch to yawn! It went on all day like that.
When I noticed this morning that I had the nagging need to yawn again, I decided it was time to google for some answers. Here's what I found out:
It seems excessive yawning is a common side effect with some smoking cessation drugs. But, I haven't taken Chantix for over two weeks now. I'm cold turkey now, so, the connection to Chantix, wouldn't really apply in my case.
I did find a few people who had posted questions on various medical bulletin boards with concerns about yawning who had also mentioned they recently quit smoking. Some described exactly what I have been experiencing. Here's what one poor guy named "Mike" had to say:
"It started when I was driving home from work in Jan 2002. I couldn't seem to get out a full yawn. The feeling of a yawn would come on, I would start to inhale like I was about to yawn, but just when you would expect your body to push out the yawn, it doesn't happen. The yawn is left incomplete, and I am left with the feeling of still having to yawn. (basically it's like taking a deep breath as opposed to a yawn, you know the difference.) On this particular drive home, my cheeks and mouth had sort of a tingling sensation when I got home from trying to complete yawns. I think this was because my mouth was open so wide the whole ride home trying to yawn."
Mike goes on to say he's had an ongoing yawning problem for over 2 years.
Dear God! Imagine being yawn-punked for 2 years! If I don't get the satisfaction of a honest to goodness yawn soon I think I'm gonna kill somebody, and I've only been dealing with this for 2 days!
Mike's comment comes from a website called AskWaltStollMD.com . I'm usually pretty leery of any websites offering medical advice unless they're associated with a well known name in the medical industry, such as the Mayo Clinic. But, since the responses to Mike's post on the bulletin board seem benign or common sense rather, I think its ok to consider some of the suggested tips, like breathing exercises to reduce the urge to yawn.
I didn't get much more than finding similar complaints from others on various bulletin boards from my Google search.
So, Here's what I've determined about my newly acquired and very irritating yawning problem:
A. Its definitely related to quitting smoking.
B. It could be some kind of psychological/mental replacement for wanting a cigarette, which may pass on its own, so maybe I should just avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
C. I need to explore some meditation and breathing techniques.
D. It could be related to a need to reduce my caffeine intake now that I've quit smoking.
What makes me think "D"?
I found this interesting article about nicotine withdrawal from a very good quit smoking website called WhyQuit. I like this website because it has a pro cold turkey philosophy coupled with a one day at a time approach. The page about withdrawal discusses the importance of cutting back the caffeine intake after quitting because your body becomes more sensitive to its effects. I've never heard of this before, but it makes sense. But, what does this have to do with yawning? I drink a lot of coffee. Yesterday, the only way I could get through a torturous section on Probability, Z scores and Confidence Intervals in preparation for a Statistics test was to keep the caffeine a com'in. I mentioned yesterday that I had a heightened sense of overall anxiety. This could have very well been the extra caffeine. In other words, I may be inadvertently exacerbating my withdrawal symptoms with too much caffeine. I haven't got the connection down to the exact science yet, but I bet somehow the out of control yawning fits into all this, too.
Its a fact that a rather common side effect of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications is excessive yawning. So, what I gather from this (and I'm just talking out my ass from here because I don't knows nutt'in bout no head doctor'in.) is that yawning has some sort of connection/correlation to whatever chemicals in your brain regulate stress responses.
So what to do now?
Well, I think its time for me to cut back on the caffeine and talk to my buddy Barney (an experienced and knowledgeable yoga instructor) about breathing and meditation techniques.
I think the yawning is my body's way of telling me I'm ready to take the next step on the path to non-smoker enlightenment.
Here's more from the WhyQuit website about the connection between caffeine and nicotine and the need for evaluating your caffeine intake during cessation.
I have noticed a mild shortness of breath ever since I started trying to quit. I have read that this is a common symptom of nicotine withdrawal and it should subside eventually. When I noticed I was yawning more than usual yesterday and that I was having a hard time controlling the urge to yawn, I associated it with the shortness of breath. I figured it probably has something to do with coming up on the last few days of "physical withdrawal." As the day progressed, I became more and more irritated with the yawning and the soreness it was causing in my jaw. I felt like I had to fight the urge to yawn just as much as I had to fight the urge to smoke in the first couple days of quitting. That's how bad it was, I had to fight yawning yesterday like I was addicted to it for my entire adult life or something. Even when I gave in and let myself yawn, I could never quite get a full yawn in. It was as if the yawn was cut short, robbing me of any satisfaction. Imagine trying to yawn or even sneeze over and over again and each time being cut short! It was oddly a lot like trying to smoke a cigarette while taking Chantix. Despite my best efforts I just couldn't scratch the itch to yawn! It went on all day like that.
When I noticed this morning that I had the nagging need to yawn again, I decided it was time to google for some answers. Here's what I found out:
It seems excessive yawning is a common side effect with some smoking cessation drugs. But, I haven't taken Chantix for over two weeks now. I'm cold turkey now, so, the connection to Chantix, wouldn't really apply in my case.
I did find a few people who had posted questions on various medical bulletin boards with concerns about yawning who had also mentioned they recently quit smoking. Some described exactly what I have been experiencing. Here's what one poor guy named "Mike" had to say:
"It started when I was driving home from work in Jan 2002. I couldn't seem to get out a full yawn. The feeling of a yawn would come on, I would start to inhale like I was about to yawn, but just when you would expect your body to push out the yawn, it doesn't happen. The yawn is left incomplete, and I am left with the feeling of still having to yawn. (basically it's like taking a deep breath as opposed to a yawn, you know the difference.) On this particular drive home, my cheeks and mouth had sort of a tingling sensation when I got home from trying to complete yawns. I think this was because my mouth was open so wide the whole ride home trying to yawn."
Mike goes on to say he's had an ongoing yawning problem for over 2 years.
Dear God! Imagine being yawn-punked for 2 years! If I don't get the satisfaction of a honest to goodness yawn soon I think I'm gonna kill somebody, and I've only been dealing with this for 2 days!
Mike's comment comes from a website called AskWaltStollMD.com . I'm usually pretty leery of any websites offering medical advice unless they're associated with a well known name in the medical industry, such as the Mayo Clinic. But, since the responses to Mike's post on the bulletin board seem benign or common sense rather, I think its ok to consider some of the suggested tips, like breathing exercises to reduce the urge to yawn.
I didn't get much more than finding similar complaints from others on various bulletin boards from my Google search.
So, Here's what I've determined about my newly acquired and very irritating yawning problem:
A. Its definitely related to quitting smoking.
B. It could be some kind of psychological/mental replacement for wanting a cigarette, which may pass on its own, so maybe I should just avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
C. I need to explore some meditation and breathing techniques.
D. It could be related to a need to reduce my caffeine intake now that I've quit smoking.
What makes me think "D"?
I found this interesting article about nicotine withdrawal from a very good quit smoking website called WhyQuit. I like this website because it has a pro cold turkey philosophy coupled with a one day at a time approach. The page about withdrawal discusses the importance of cutting back the caffeine intake after quitting because your body becomes more sensitive to its effects. I've never heard of this before, but it makes sense. But, what does this have to do with yawning? I drink a lot of coffee. Yesterday, the only way I could get through a torturous section on Probability, Z scores and Confidence Intervals in preparation for a Statistics test was to keep the caffeine a com'in. I mentioned yesterday that I had a heightened sense of overall anxiety. This could have very well been the extra caffeine. In other words, I may be inadvertently exacerbating my withdrawal symptoms with too much caffeine. I haven't got the connection down to the exact science yet, but I bet somehow the out of control yawning fits into all this, too.
Its a fact that a rather common side effect of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications is excessive yawning. So, what I gather from this (and I'm just talking out my ass from here because I don't knows nutt'in bout no head doctor'in.) is that yawning has some sort of connection/correlation to whatever chemicals in your brain regulate stress responses.
So what to do now?
Well, I think its time for me to cut back on the caffeine and talk to my buddy Barney (an experienced and knowledgeable yoga instructor) about breathing and meditation techniques.
I think the yawning is my body's way of telling me I'm ready to take the next step on the path to non-smoker enlightenment.
Here's more from the WhyQuit website about the connection between caffeine and nicotine and the need for evaluating your caffeine intake during cessation.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Strange Intense Cravings
I don't have much time today to write, but thought I should quickly share an update.
So far today, I've had unusually intense cravings. This seems to have come out of the blue, as yesterday and most of last week, I can honestly say I didn't feel this way. The antsy, irritation level is almost on par with the intensity of the first or second day of quitting. I think I know why. This Saturday will mark two full weeks of no smoking, cold turkey style. I remember from my other attempts there are certain benchmarks of withdrawal and I seem to have hit one today. There is the 3 day benchmark and the 10-14 day one. This is why you always hear quitters say the first 2 weeks are the hardest. If I understand it correctly (and I'll do some research and maybe do a more extensive post on the topic later) It takes about 3 days for the nicotine to reach negligible levels and about 10-14 days for the physical symptoms of withdrawal to subside. After those two bench marks, most of the fight against smoking truly is "all in the smoker's head."
I think today, my body is in the last throws of physical withdrawal. "Craving" might not be the best word to describe how I'm feeling today. It's not really that I'm sitting around right now craving a cigarette. Actually, I can honestly say I haven't even thought about a cigarette too much. It's more like a general anxiety .... like being on the verge of a panic attack or something. And I keep yawning. Yes, yawning. Its not a tired thing. It's weird, I keep yawning and yawning, to the point where I'm conscious of it now and my jaw actually is starting to hurt. Its almost like I'm a little short of breath and the yawning is a way to get some extra oxygen to my brain or something.
This too shall pass, I guess. Kinda sucks it all came on today, as I have a major test to study for.
Speaking of...better get back to studying.
"YYYAAAAAwwwwwwnnnnnn"
So far today, I've had unusually intense cravings. This seems to have come out of the blue, as yesterday and most of last week, I can honestly say I didn't feel this way. The antsy, irritation level is almost on par with the intensity of the first or second day of quitting. I think I know why. This Saturday will mark two full weeks of no smoking, cold turkey style. I remember from my other attempts there are certain benchmarks of withdrawal and I seem to have hit one today. There is the 3 day benchmark and the 10-14 day one. This is why you always hear quitters say the first 2 weeks are the hardest. If I understand it correctly (and I'll do some research and maybe do a more extensive post on the topic later) It takes about 3 days for the nicotine to reach negligible levels and about 10-14 days for the physical symptoms of withdrawal to subside. After those two bench marks, most of the fight against smoking truly is "all in the smoker's head."
I think today, my body is in the last throws of physical withdrawal. "Craving" might not be the best word to describe how I'm feeling today. It's not really that I'm sitting around right now craving a cigarette. Actually, I can honestly say I haven't even thought about a cigarette too much. It's more like a general anxiety .... like being on the verge of a panic attack or something. And I keep yawning. Yes, yawning. Its not a tired thing. It's weird, I keep yawning and yawning, to the point where I'm conscious of it now and my jaw actually is starting to hurt. Its almost like I'm a little short of breath and the yawning is a way to get some extra oxygen to my brain or something.
This too shall pass, I guess. Kinda sucks it all came on today, as I have a major test to study for.
Speaking of...better get back to studying.
"YYYAAAAAwwwwwwnnnnnn"
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Its Official!
I earned those cute little boots I was talking about.
One whole week, no smoking, no Chantix.
Booya!
One whole week, no smoking, no Chantix.
Booya!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
"Home Is Where You Make It...."
Thupid thinnamon candy.
Ate a whole bag of Red Hoths and burnt my thung and now I can't thaste anything.
How long doth it take for thastebuths to grow back?
Ate a whole bag of Red Hoths and burnt my thung and now I can't thaste anything.
How long doth it take for thastebuths to grow back?
Happy Face Stickers
If I make it to Saturday, I'm thinking I deserve a little more than just a happy face sticker. Hmmmmmm.......What should my reward be?
What little thing should I get myself in celebration of surviving 7 days of, what is to my brain, essentially, fasting?
My brain thinks I've deprived it of a basic need for days on end now. At some point aren't I supposed to hit, like, Nirvana or something?
So, what to buy myself? Hmmmm.
Shoes! Yes, of course, shoes! A wintery pair of new shoes. Maybe some cute little boots?
Yep. Sounds good.
What little thing should I get myself in celebration of surviving 7 days of, what is to my brain, essentially, fasting?
My brain thinks I've deprived it of a basic need for days on end now. At some point aren't I supposed to hit, like, Nirvana or something?
So, what to buy myself? Hmmmm.
Shoes! Yes, of course, shoes! A wintery pair of new shoes. Maybe some cute little boots?
Yep. Sounds good.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reply To My Friend
A few of my friends are disappointed with my decision to stop taking Chantix. I understand why. They are afraid I am slipping off the bandwagon. I'm not. Below is my reply to a friend of mine's comment to my earlier post. I'm making it its own post because 1) it is just too long and rambling to leave in the comments section and 2) because I think other friends of mine will be interested in hearing it too.
Please also read Sarah's comment as well. It is full of very solid quitting advice.
Here's my response (Its rambling, unedited, full of typos. I might come back and clean it up later, maybe not):
I appreciate your advice my friend and please know that I will not rule out using Chantix again should I feel like the "cold turkey" is not going as planned.
I'm taking this day by day. If I make it through 24 hours without a cigarette (and without killing anyone) I consider it a very good day. A success. I stopped the Chantix almost sort of, kinda on accident, by forgetting to take it. Next thing I knew I had made it through 24 hours, no cig and no chantix. I decided to try it again the next day. It was hell, but I did it. And the next day too. Seems almost kinda silly to start taking it now. Might as well keep going with what I'm doing at this point.
I do understand it was a very risky decision to stop the Chantix and go cold turkey. I would not advise it for every one. I am a cranky, cranky bitch right now. I probably wouldn't be quite as cranky if I were still taking the Chantix. But, here's the way I look at it. I won't be this cranky forever. It will pass. Matter of fact, I know from experience that after about 2 weeks it does get much much easier.
And don't worry, this isn't about me fooling myself. I know "the wanting to be in control" thing smacks of denial. All I can tell you and a few other friends who seem disappointed in my decision to stop Chantix is, you haven't heard me follow it up with any excuses yet, like the "but I'm not ready" line. That's because my decision to forgo Chantix isn't an excuse to quit quitting. If it was, I wouldn't be continuing to torture myself.
I went 3 years without smoking. After three years, I was in fact a bonafide ex-smoker. Yes, I consider it a success. I also consider the time I quit for 6 weeks a success too.
The unfortunate thing is you're right. I am an addict. All of us smokers, quitters, and ex-smokers are addicts and there is no cure. There's always, always a chance of us slipping back to it. No matter how much we might think we have the habit behind us, or even if we come to hate it, despise even the smell of it, we are always just one puff away from falling back to our old ways.
I disagree that Chantix permenantly alters the way a brain is wired. 3 years into not smoking a Chantix quitter's chances of relapsing are no worse or better than a patch or hypnosis quitter's odds. If someone's going to relapse after 2 or 3 years, or 10 months or 10 years even, it has very little to do with how they initially kicked the habit.
That's not to say Chantix doesn't work wonders. I believe it does. And I definitely see your point about the easier road. But, with 4 days under my belt, tomorrow doesn't terrify me without Chantix. I really do think I'll be ok. It will suck, but I think I can do it. I can't make any promises beyond the next 24 hours though. But, I don't think I could make that kind of promise even if I was still taking Chantix. Right now, its still one day at a time. I ain't even looking at the long term.
I'm keeping my options open, don't worry. Today I'm all about the cold turkey. Tomorrow, I might want to give the patch a shot. Two weeks from now, I might be right back at Chantix.
I read something on a website earlier today that I liked, it said something like,
"There's one sure way to quit smoking....
Never Take Another Puff."
And, btw, you don't sound like a bummer. I agree with much of what you are saying. And I appreciate the words of encouragement and the honesty.
Thank you my ex-smoker friend :-)
Please also read Sarah's comment as well. It is full of very solid quitting advice.
Here's my response (Its rambling, unedited, full of typos. I might come back and clean it up later, maybe not):
I appreciate your advice my friend and please know that I will not rule out using Chantix again should I feel like the "cold turkey" is not going as planned.
I'm taking this day by day. If I make it through 24 hours without a cigarette (and without killing anyone) I consider it a very good day. A success. I stopped the Chantix almost sort of, kinda on accident, by forgetting to take it. Next thing I knew I had made it through 24 hours, no cig and no chantix. I decided to try it again the next day. It was hell, but I did it. And the next day too. Seems almost kinda silly to start taking it now. Might as well keep going with what I'm doing at this point.
I do understand it was a very risky decision to stop the Chantix and go cold turkey. I would not advise it for every one. I am a cranky, cranky bitch right now. I probably wouldn't be quite as cranky if I were still taking the Chantix. But, here's the way I look at it. I won't be this cranky forever. It will pass. Matter of fact, I know from experience that after about 2 weeks it does get much much easier.
And don't worry, this isn't about me fooling myself. I know "the wanting to be in control" thing smacks of denial. All I can tell you and a few other friends who seem disappointed in my decision to stop Chantix is, you haven't heard me follow it up with any excuses yet, like the "but I'm not ready" line. That's because my decision to forgo Chantix isn't an excuse to quit quitting. If it was, I wouldn't be continuing to torture myself.
I went 3 years without smoking. After three years, I was in fact a bonafide ex-smoker. Yes, I consider it a success. I also consider the time I quit for 6 weeks a success too.
The unfortunate thing is you're right. I am an addict. All of us smokers, quitters, and ex-smokers are addicts and there is no cure. There's always, always a chance of us slipping back to it. No matter how much we might think we have the habit behind us, or even if we come to hate it, despise even the smell of it, we are always just one puff away from falling back to our old ways.
I disagree that Chantix permenantly alters the way a brain is wired. 3 years into not smoking a Chantix quitter's chances of relapsing are no worse or better than a patch or hypnosis quitter's odds. If someone's going to relapse after 2 or 3 years, or 10 months or 10 years even, it has very little to do with how they initially kicked the habit.
That's not to say Chantix doesn't work wonders. I believe it does. And I definitely see your point about the easier road. But, with 4 days under my belt, tomorrow doesn't terrify me without Chantix. I really do think I'll be ok. It will suck, but I think I can do it. I can't make any promises beyond the next 24 hours though. But, I don't think I could make that kind of promise even if I was still taking Chantix. Right now, its still one day at a time. I ain't even looking at the long term.
I'm keeping my options open, don't worry. Today I'm all about the cold turkey. Tomorrow, I might want to give the patch a shot. Two weeks from now, I might be right back at Chantix.
I read something on a website earlier today that I liked, it said something like,
"There's one sure way to quit smoking....
Never Take Another Puff."
And, btw, you don't sound like a bummer. I agree with much of what you are saying. And I appreciate the words of encouragement and the honesty.
Thank you my ex-smoker friend :-)
A Change in Plans
A recent series of events (including a moment of weakness over the weekend) and some quiet soul-searching has lead me on a new path to Non-Smokerdom.
Its a less traveled path, but an ancient one.
It is the path of the Cold Turkey.
I'm not going to go into too much detail as to why I decided to stop taking the Chantix because I still believe its an extremely effective stop smoking aid. I do not want to discourage others from giving it a try.
This is all I'm gonna say about it:
I don't like taking pills. I never have. I knew this about myself, but fought it because I wanted to give Chantix a shot. I had heard many a success story and felt it would be self-defeating to deny myself such a specialized weapon against cravings and withdrawal. So, I took the Chantix, and while yes it worked, I increasingly found it difficult to make myself take it every day on time and in the right dosage. The pill itself was becoming a source of anxiety and conflict.
For me, it became a question of just who was in charge. Me or the Chantix? I know, I know, that's the whole point of the medication in the first place, its supposed to take charge because the smoker is too vulnerable and weak to lead the battle against nicotine cravings. And that's great, like I said, its a wonderful tool, a modern medical advancement in smoking cessation. I personally just can't bring myself to relinquish that kind of prolonged control, even if it means giving up some of the burden, too.
One thing I've always hated about smoking is the way cigarettes take priority over everything else on a daily basis. Every single day, day in day out, 365 a year, a smoker must keep a check on their "supply" never ever letting it get too low. A smoker could hardly enjoy a meal if he weren't confident a cigarette would follow. That goes for everything in life. Every thing. Driving must be accompanied by a smoke. Conversation can not be enjoyed without it. Even exercise. Nothing like a cigarette after yoga I'm told. Coffee. Beer. Sex. Open-heart surgery. You name it, there's not a single occasion that isn't made better with a cigarette. I always hated being a slave to nicotine. I hated that I had to run to the convenient store once, sometimes twice a day. Considering I can use my card at the pump, If I never have to step foot into another Hess or 7-Eleven, it will be too soon. I guess I started having the same feeling about taking Chantix everyday. I started to wonder if I was setting myself up to "need" a little pill every morning and evening. The sample packs Robby and I were given were starting to run out and it was becoming a concern. We literally sat down and counted pills to see when he would need to make a doctor's appointment to get more. It all started feeling a little too familiar. I wondered if I was trading Convenient Stores and Marlboro for Dr.'s offices and Chantix.
Yes, yes, I understand its a "lesser of two evils" kind of thing. The nicotine in the Marlboros is addictive, the Chantix isn't. The Chantix is temporary. Uh huh. Well, I became a bit discouraged when I read this...
"Some people take Chantix for up to six months."
Here's what I know. I know I don't want to be thinking about cigarettes or little blue pills 6 months from now.
No doubt, Chantix helped get me this far. And for that, I am grateful. But bottom line, this is my battle. I set the rules of engagement from here on out.
Its a less traveled path, but an ancient one.
It is the path of the Cold Turkey.
I'm not going to go into too much detail as to why I decided to stop taking the Chantix because I still believe its an extremely effective stop smoking aid. I do not want to discourage others from giving it a try.
This is all I'm gonna say about it:
I don't like taking pills. I never have. I knew this about myself, but fought it because I wanted to give Chantix a shot. I had heard many a success story and felt it would be self-defeating to deny myself such a specialized weapon against cravings and withdrawal. So, I took the Chantix, and while yes it worked, I increasingly found it difficult to make myself take it every day on time and in the right dosage. The pill itself was becoming a source of anxiety and conflict.
For me, it became a question of just who was in charge. Me or the Chantix? I know, I know, that's the whole point of the medication in the first place, its supposed to take charge because the smoker is too vulnerable and weak to lead the battle against nicotine cravings. And that's great, like I said, its a wonderful tool, a modern medical advancement in smoking cessation. I personally just can't bring myself to relinquish that kind of prolonged control, even if it means giving up some of the burden, too.
One thing I've always hated about smoking is the way cigarettes take priority over everything else on a daily basis. Every single day, day in day out, 365 a year, a smoker must keep a check on their "supply" never ever letting it get too low. A smoker could hardly enjoy a meal if he weren't confident a cigarette would follow. That goes for everything in life. Every thing. Driving must be accompanied by a smoke. Conversation can not be enjoyed without it. Even exercise. Nothing like a cigarette after yoga I'm told. Coffee. Beer. Sex. Open-heart surgery. You name it, there's not a single occasion that isn't made better with a cigarette. I always hated being a slave to nicotine. I hated that I had to run to the convenient store once, sometimes twice a day. Considering I can use my card at the pump, If I never have to step foot into another Hess or 7-Eleven, it will be too soon. I guess I started having the same feeling about taking Chantix everyday. I started to wonder if I was setting myself up to "need" a little pill every morning and evening. The sample packs Robby and I were given were starting to run out and it was becoming a concern. We literally sat down and counted pills to see when he would need to make a doctor's appointment to get more. It all started feeling a little too familiar. I wondered if I was trading Convenient Stores and Marlboro for Dr.'s offices and Chantix.
Yes, yes, I understand its a "lesser of two evils" kind of thing. The nicotine in the Marlboros is addictive, the Chantix isn't. The Chantix is temporary. Uh huh. Well, I became a bit discouraged when I read this...
"Some people take Chantix for up to six months."
Here's what I know. I know I don't want to be thinking about cigarettes or little blue pills 6 months from now.
No doubt, Chantix helped get me this far. And for that, I am grateful. But bottom line, this is my battle. I set the rules of engagement from here on out.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Idle Hands
Two days no smoking. None. Not even cheating in the morning.
I accidentally kind of on purpose took only half a Chantix today. I knew I had bidniz to take care of and needed all my whits about me. The full dose is still making me too drowsy to function. I tried counteracting the drowsy side effects with two pots of coffee, which worked, but my kidneys abruptly announced they would not tolerate that kind of abuse from me.
So, its been 3 days really (if you don't count that one cig I had in the morning 3 days ago) and my Chantix for the day wore off hours ago.
And yep, I'm coming out of my skin.
But, I'm cool. I'm cool. This too shall pass. Tomorrow I'll take my "methodone" like a good little recovering addict and all will be well.
In the mean time, kindly ignore the Tourettes and arm flailing, k?
Thanks.
But, TWO DAYS! TWO DAYS!
I accidentally kind of on purpose took only half a Chantix today. I knew I had bidniz to take care of and needed all my whits about me. The full dose is still making me too drowsy to function. I tried counteracting the drowsy side effects with two pots of coffee, which worked, but my kidneys abruptly announced they would not tolerate that kind of abuse from me.
So, its been 3 days really (if you don't count that one cig I had in the morning 3 days ago) and my Chantix for the day wore off hours ago.
And yep, I'm coming out of my skin.
But, I'm cool. I'm cool. This too shall pass. Tomorrow I'll take my "methodone" like a good little recovering addict and all will be well.
In the mean time, kindly ignore the Tourettes and arm flailing, k?
Thanks.
But, TWO DAYS! TWO DAYS!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Getting There
What day is this, anyway? The 9th or 10th? I'm starting to lose track. Its time to start going by weeks now I think. It's like those moms who try to hang on to aging their children by month well after 24 months. You ask, "So how old is your little guy?" And they say something, like, "Oh, he's 32 months." And you're, like, "So....he's two..."
Isn't that irritating?
We'll start calling this Week One of quitting. Technically this is Week Two, but since you're allowed to smoke for the first week of Chantix, we won't count the first week since it was more like preparation than 'gittin er done.'
How's it going so far?
Ok. Its going ok. I haven't died of a nicotine fit. Although the Chantix is making me feel pretty brain dead.
The mornings are the hardest. I cheat and take the Chantix about an hour after I get up so I can smoke a couple cigarettes with my coffee. Today I only had one though and its going on noon.
After I take the pill, I do alright. Yesterday I had the two I smoked before the Chantix, then another 3 for the entire day.
That's 5 cigarettes compared to the 20 to 40 I would normally smoke. Considering that I was a very heavy smoker, I'm giving myself a B+-.
Did you just notice that? I referred to being a smoker in the past tense!
Not quite there yet...but almost.
(Robby, my two-pack a day-er husband, is doing well too. Maybe even better than me, although he's cheating in the morning too.)
We're getting there...
Isn't that irritating?
We'll start calling this Week One of quitting. Technically this is Week Two, but since you're allowed to smoke for the first week of Chantix, we won't count the first week since it was more like preparation than 'gittin er done.'
How's it going so far?
Ok. Its going ok. I haven't died of a nicotine fit. Although the Chantix is making me feel pretty brain dead.
The mornings are the hardest. I cheat and take the Chantix about an hour after I get up so I can smoke a couple cigarettes with my coffee. Today I only had one though and its going on noon.
After I take the pill, I do alright. Yesterday I had the two I smoked before the Chantix, then another 3 for the entire day.
That's 5 cigarettes compared to the 20 to 40 I would normally smoke. Considering that I was a very heavy smoker, I'm giving myself a B+-.
Did you just notice that? I referred to being a smoker in the past tense!
Not quite there yet...but almost.
(Robby, my two-pack a day-er husband, is doing well too. Maybe even better than me, although he's cheating in the morning too.)
We're getting there...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Longest Day
Great movie by the way, The Longest Day.
So, It is about 1:30 pm on the 7th Day of Chantix, the day of reckoning. You're supposed to bump up from taking .5mg twice a day to a full 1mg twice a day and stop smoking.
I was very concerned about the nausea the full dosage might cause me this morning, so I ran to McD's for a breakfast burrito combo, a #11 with an OJ and forced myself to eat it. Keeping food in your stomach is the key to staving off the nausea, which is only a problem for me in the morning, because I don't do breakfast.
I took my friend's advice, (thanks, Sarah) and took half the pill, then waited an hour to take the other half. The combination of doing this and eating breakfast must have worked because I had zero nausea.
So far so good on the not smoking. I smoked 2 this morning before I took the pill, but none since. Its going on about 5 hours since I've smoked and I can't say I'm jumping out of my skin. I want one, but I can manage. 5 hours, that's pretty good for me.
I checked in with Robby about two hours ago and he said he was doing well too.
My only complaint is that the Chantix makes me feel extremely drowsy. I hope that goes away as I adjust to the new dosage.
But, Woo hoo! I'm pretty happy with the progress today. Let's see if I can make it another 5 hours! After the kids get home from school will be the real test.
So, It is about 1:30 pm on the 7th Day of Chantix, the day of reckoning. You're supposed to bump up from taking .5mg twice a day to a full 1mg twice a day and stop smoking.
I was very concerned about the nausea the full dosage might cause me this morning, so I ran to McD's for a breakfast burrito combo, a #11 with an OJ and forced myself to eat it. Keeping food in your stomach is the key to staving off the nausea, which is only a problem for me in the morning, because I don't do breakfast.
I took my friend's advice, (thanks, Sarah) and took half the pill, then waited an hour to take the other half. The combination of doing this and eating breakfast must have worked because I had zero nausea.
So far so good on the not smoking. I smoked 2 this morning before I took the pill, but none since. Its going on about 5 hours since I've smoked and I can't say I'm jumping out of my skin. I want one, but I can manage. 5 hours, that's pretty good for me.
I checked in with Robby about two hours ago and he said he was doing well too.
My only complaint is that the Chantix makes me feel extremely drowsy. I hope that goes away as I adjust to the new dosage.
But, Woo hoo! I'm pretty happy with the progress today. Let's see if I can make it another 5 hours! After the kids get home from school will be the real test.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
About Tomorrow
My game plan for tomorrow is to get up early, get the kids off to school and spend the day spring cleaning. I'm gonna organize the kid's play room and then pull out all our winter clothes that are still in boxes from the move. Those two things should keep me busy for a big portion of the day.
If I start to have a nicotine fit, I plan to battle it with a walk around the block or my best friend's treadmill.
I'm going to stay as busy as possible tomorrow, so I may or may not post. I got a feeling sitting here writing about how much I want a cigarette isn't going to help keep my mind off of it, know what I mean?
I'll be listening to a lot of music tomorrow, too. Loud, real loud. That always helps.
This is my favorite shut up and deal with it, put your big girl panties on song.
I know its all 'cheezy girl power' and stuff, but that's the whole point.
If I start to have a nicotine fit, I plan to battle it with a walk around the block or my best friend's treadmill.
I'm going to stay as busy as possible tomorrow, so I may or may not post. I got a feeling sitting here writing about how much I want a cigarette isn't going to help keep my mind off of it, know what I mean?
I'll be listening to a lot of music tomorrow, too. Loud, real loud. That always helps.
This is my favorite shut up and deal with it, put your big girl panties on song.
I know its all 'cheezy girl power' and stuff, but that's the whole point.
My Reasons
On Day 2 I made a long video of me talking about quitting. Today, I planned on posting a portion of it where I talked about my reasons for wanting to quit. In it, I got all choked up when I started talking about my kids, and how happy they are that Mommy and Daddy are trying to quit smoking. "They are our #1 cheerleaders," I said, and immediately burst into tears on camera. I was going to share this intimate and emotional moment with you all, but alas, it appears my video has been "accidentally" deleted from my files.
In its place, I found this......
So, there you have it. I'm quitting for my kids. And because smoking is dumb.
"LA CUCARACHA!"
In its place, I found this......
So, there you have it. I'm quitting for my kids. And because smoking is dumb.
"LA CUCARACHA!"
Day 7 Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
It is 9 am on my last day of permissible smoking (see Day 6 as to why "permissible" doesn't necessarily mean I'll be physically capable of taking advantage of it.)
After yesterday's epiphany, I'm feeling a bit conflicted. I haven't taken my pill yet, 1) because I have to take it with food and I hate the idea of eating in the morning and 2) because I want to feel normal so I can enjoy the last few cigarettes of the rest of my life.
I'm going to the store today to stock up on the hard candy and carrot sticks in preparation for the big day tomorrow. I will probably spend a lot of today mentally preparing for the long road ahead. It may get a little ugly, emotional. I've been here before, so I know the battle I face, even with Chantix. It is still largely up to me and my own will power.
I'm gonna try to post more footage today from Day 2 where I talk about my reasons for quitting because its important to stay focused on why I'm doing this.
$8,000, baby, $8,000!
I'm going with the little blue pill, Morpheus.
After yesterday's epiphany, I'm feeling a bit conflicted. I haven't taken my pill yet, 1) because I have to take it with food and I hate the idea of eating in the morning and 2) because I want to feel normal so I can enjoy the last few cigarettes of the rest of my life.
I'm going to the store today to stock up on the hard candy and carrot sticks in preparation for the big day tomorrow. I will probably spend a lot of today mentally preparing for the long road ahead. It may get a little ugly, emotional. I've been here before, so I know the battle I face, even with Chantix. It is still largely up to me and my own will power.
I'm gonna try to post more footage today from Day 2 where I talk about my reasons for quitting because its important to stay focused on why I'm doing this.
$8,000, baby, $8,000!
I'm going with the little blue pill, Morpheus.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Day 6 - Don't Smoke Em If You Got Em
I'm pretty sure I figured out today how not to feel like ass while taking Chantix. I haven't got all the kinks worked out in my theory just yet, cause its all, like, scientific and experimental and I'm still testing the hypothesis. But, here it is, ready? Ok...if you want to stop feeling like death warmed over while taking Chantix you should....
Stop smoking immediately.
You're probably thinking, Well, duh, Kim. But, its not as much of a no-brainer as it sounds. See,when the directions said I could continue to smoke for the first week, I thought that meant I could, get this, continue to smoke for the first week. I was woefully wrong. See, what they really mean by "you can continue to smoke through the first week" is "you can continue to smoke for the first week as long as it doesn't start making you feel like road kill. Should you start to feel like road kill, lighten up on the lighting up, you moron."
I finally put 2 and 2 together and tried cutting drastically back on the smokes today, and viola, those awful side effects I've been complaining about seem to have subsided for the most part. So,
Increased Chantix dosage + continued smoking = Worst Hangover Ever.
They really aught to warn people about that. Any self-respecting smoker is gonna want to savor the joys of tobacco use for as long as they can. You tell somebody they got 7 days, well, they want their 7 days.
Does Chantix work? Yes, in my case Chantix is working so good that it looks like I'll be having my last cigarette well before Monday. I, personally, would have preferred to stop on Monday as planned, but obviously, I'm not in charge of that decision, the pill is. And, I ain't pickin a fight with the pill. Not after the butt-kicking it gave me yesterday.
Stop smoking immediately.
You're probably thinking, Well, duh, Kim. But, its not as much of a no-brainer as it sounds. See,when the directions said I could continue to smoke for the first week, I thought that meant I could, get this, continue to smoke for the first week. I was woefully wrong. See, what they really mean by "you can continue to smoke through the first week" is "you can continue to smoke for the first week as long as it doesn't start making you feel like road kill. Should you start to feel like road kill, lighten up on the lighting up, you moron."
I finally put 2 and 2 together and tried cutting drastically back on the smokes today, and viola, those awful side effects I've been complaining about seem to have subsided for the most part. So,
Increased Chantix dosage + continued smoking = Worst Hangover Ever.
They really aught to warn people about that. Any self-respecting smoker is gonna want to savor the joys of tobacco use for as long as they can. You tell somebody they got 7 days, well, they want their 7 days.
Does Chantix work? Yes, in my case Chantix is working so good that it looks like I'll be having my last cigarette well before Monday. I, personally, would have preferred to stop on Monday as planned, but obviously, I'm not in charge of that decision, the pill is. And, I ain't pickin a fight with the pill. Not after the butt-kicking it gave me yesterday.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Day 5
I feel like I'm gonna fall into a Chantix-induced coma at any minute now.
I want to do nothing but lay in bed. Zero energy. I'm tapped out. Wiped out. A zombie.
Not good. I got to be able to function at least on the most basic level from one day to the next.
I'll say I've definitely not wanted to smoke as much today, but I haven't wanted to do much of anything else either...you know, like breathing?
I'm worried. I feel pretty awful. How long is this gonna last? How long am I going to feel this bad? I haven't even got to the full dosage yet.
I want to quit smoking, I really do, but not by lying in a coma for a month.
So, yeah, I'm not thinking Chantix is as wonerful, magical as I thought it was last night. I'm thinking it sucks right now and I haven't felt this bad in a long time.
Stupid pill.
I want to do nothing but lay in bed. Zero energy. I'm tapped out. Wiped out. A zombie.
Not good. I got to be able to function at least on the most basic level from one day to the next.
I'll say I've definitely not wanted to smoke as much today, but I haven't wanted to do much of anything else either...you know, like breathing?
I'm worried. I feel pretty awful. How long is this gonna last? How long am I going to feel this bad? I haven't even got to the full dosage yet.
I want to quit smoking, I really do, but not by lying in a coma for a month.
So, yeah, I'm not thinking Chantix is as wonerful, magical as I thought it was last night. I'm thinking it sucks right now and I haven't felt this bad in a long time.
Stupid pill.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Holy Crap! I Think This Shit Is Actually Working!
I just tried to smoke a cigarette and HAD TO PUT IT OUT!
I just didn't want it. Simple as that. I took a couple drags off of it, and...."bleck."
Why was it bleh? I don't know, it was all so weird. I've never smoked a cigarette and felt like it wasn't what I wanted. It was like it was missing something, like bland food.
How very bizarre. Really. I know that's what Chantix is supposed to do. It's supposed to make you not want to smoke. I guess I just didn't expect it to make the actual act of smoking that much of a turn off or something. I guess I thought it would be more like the nicotine patch in the sense that the patch is about keeping the nicotine level high enough in your body to prevent homicidal rage. With the patch, its still up to the smoker to do all the hard work. The smoker has to be able to resist the urge to smoke; the patch just takes the edge off. It doesn't make cigarettes suddenly seem icky. But, Chantix on the other hand, appears to have some sort of fairy dust/voodoo quality that magically makes smoking unpleasant to the smoker.
I lit up a cigarette, took two puffs and thought to myself, "Yuck, I don't want this." Then I put it out in the ashtray and walked away. Magic.
I just didn't want it. Simple as that. I took a couple drags off of it, and...."bleck."
Why was it bleh? I don't know, it was all so weird. I've never smoked a cigarette and felt like it wasn't what I wanted. It was like it was missing something, like bland food.
How very bizarre. Really. I know that's what Chantix is supposed to do. It's supposed to make you not want to smoke. I guess I just didn't expect it to make the actual act of smoking that much of a turn off or something. I guess I thought it would be more like the nicotine patch in the sense that the patch is about keeping the nicotine level high enough in your body to prevent homicidal rage. With the patch, its still up to the smoker to do all the hard work. The smoker has to be able to resist the urge to smoke; the patch just takes the edge off. It doesn't make cigarettes suddenly seem icky. But, Chantix on the other hand, appears to have some sort of fairy dust/voodoo quality that magically makes smoking unpleasant to the smoker.
I lit up a cigarette, took two puffs and thought to myself, "Yuck, I don't want this." Then I put it out in the ashtray and walked away. Magic.
Day 4 Bumping Up The Chantix
Ok. So, Today is Day 4 on Chantix, the wonder drug. In my opinion, its no wonder people quit while taking Chantix, the cotton mouth alone is enough to make you want to pass on a smoke. Yuck.
And then there is the nausea.
Isn't quitting smoking fun! I'll say!
Today I am supposed to go from taking .5mg once a day to twice a day. To be honest, I'm a little scared. Yesterday was a pretty bad day. But, I'm gonna do it, not going to give up yet. I'm not a quitter (well, yes I am, but you know what I mean.)
What's a little temporary nausea and yuck mouth compared to having an extra $8,000 in my bank account come next year.
Stay focused young grasshopper!
So, here we go. Its 9 am and I'm going to eat something and take my wonder drug.
Wish me luck.
And then there is the nausea.
Isn't quitting smoking fun! I'll say!
Today I am supposed to go from taking .5mg once a day to twice a day. To be honest, I'm a little scared. Yesterday was a pretty bad day. But, I'm gonna do it, not going to give up yet. I'm not a quitter (well, yes I am, but you know what I mean.)
What's a little temporary nausea and yuck mouth compared to having an extra $8,000 in my bank account come next year.
Stay focused young grasshopper!
So, here we go. Its 9 am and I'm going to eat something and take my wonder drug.
Wish me luck.
Don't Quit On My Account, Mr. President
Dear Mr. President, The next time you sneak out of the White House for a smoke break, I hope you take extra pleasure in the indulgence for me. I can no longer afford the luxury. You helped price them out of my reach and have brought me to near financial ruin while I struggle with this most addictive habit that you your...self can not break. I can not thank you enough for putting my health before your own, as I'm sure that last tax on cigarettes was for my own good. You know best. And by all means, do enjoy that Marlboro.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day Three
Cotton mouth. Check. Horrible fatigue. Check. Pounding headache. Double check.
I don't want to talk about Day 3. Hmm, k? K.
I'm tired, grumpy and my mouth feels like I just swallowed saw dust. Tomorrow should be interesting, considering I will be taking double the dose of Chantix.
Robby says he feels fine. No cotton mouth or headache. Hmph. Figures.
Yeah, so Day 3 didn't go so well. I did find this today, which cheered me up a little. A coming together of my two favorite topics; genealogy and politics.
I don't want to talk about Day 3. Hmm, k? K.
I'm tired, grumpy and my mouth feels like I just swallowed saw dust. Tomorrow should be interesting, considering I will be taking double the dose of Chantix.
Robby says he feels fine. No cotton mouth or headache. Hmph. Figures.
Yeah, so Day 3 didn't go so well. I did find this today, which cheered me up a little. A coming together of my two favorite topics; genealogy and politics.
The Stupidity of Smoking
I am a two-pack a day smoker. So is my husband. Let's do the math, shall we? At a little over $6.00 per pack, that's roughly $24.00 a day. A day. That's $672 a month, which comes out to over $8,000 per year.
So, we're spending $8,000 a year to kill ourselves. How's that for stupid?
It's up to me to stop the insanity. We must quit the stupid. Quit it right now.
It ends today.
Follow me as I, a two-pack a day-er , quit this money-burning, health-robbing horribly addictive habit.
So, we're spending $8,000 a year to kill ourselves. How's that for stupid?
It's up to me to stop the insanity. We must quit the stupid. Quit it right now.
It ends today.
Follow me as I, a two-pack a day-er , quit this money-burning, health-robbing horribly addictive habit.
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